I've got a fire in my belly

This burn that started as an ulcer/nervoustummy/IBS/glutenintolerate pain, has now turned into a passionate desire to succeed. Not like money rich kind of success (though I’m hopeful that’s part of my story) but the kind of success that I can finally feel I’m worthy of. Sounds like a pity party right? Not really. Well, kinda. But life, as we all know it has many things we can’t avoid. Like bills. Mortgages. Responsibilities. And working for THE MAN gets you a steady stream of assurance to keep you afloat. Or comfortable. That regular weekly, bi-weekly, or monthly security that keeps you where you are. If we are lucky we do what we love every single day. We get up and want to go to work. Doing what we love.

 

And then sometimes, life trips you up off your heels. In my case, 4 inch heels ,) 

 

I have always worked for THE MAN. I loved it. I was lucky that I got up and went in and did what I loved with a pretty great bunch of people. Some are still my crazy ass friends. My first two jobs had the potential to make me a lifer! 12 and 9 years. That’s alot of time.

 

Then, I tripped. And found myself not loving what I was doing every day.

 

This was about the same time that I picked up my camera again. I mean, really picked it up. I couldn’t wait for golden hour shoots, and hotel rooms with gorgeous women ,) I would stay up late into the night editing and creating shoot ideas. I would wake up, go to work (all the while thinking of my camera and what I wanted to create), and then come home and do what I really loved. Every night. And many Saturdays and Sundays.  

 

So here I am now. No MAN to work for. Did I make a few bad choices? Wrong decisions? Or is this part of my story? I could have a pity party and tell myself that I’m not worthy of doing what I love for a living. That I need to find more work for THE MAN. Or, I could do what I love. Every. Single. Day. And … SUCCEED! When someone asks what I do for a living (because face it, I still have bills, mortgages and responsiblities) I can say ‘I’m a photographer’. I create beautiful images. Prints. Tangible photographs, in this digital world. And, damn it, I’m pretty good at it! I think it’s my time to believe that. Really really believe that this is what I should be doing. 

 

So, fuck the haters. I repeat, fuck the haters. The people that don’t want to see you succeed. The ones who can make you feel not so good about your abilities. Or don’t think what you are doing is a good thing. A moral thing. (referring of course, to the hotel rooms with beautiful women lol) Those folks who have a way of keeping you down low enough to believe you are only worthy of working for THE MAN

 

Maybe this is my story. Maybe, just maybe … I’m suppose to work for THE WOMAN. This woman! Maybe this is the chapter of my story that leads to my happy ending. Because hells ya! my story will have a happy ending!

 

So I’m going to give it my all. All of my time. FULL TIME. Not just my free time, my after 5pm time or weekend time. Because really, right now, no one else but ME owns my time. Man it feels good to actually verbalize this. I have the support I need from family and friends and the BEST clients I could ever ask for, which is going to make this next chapter in my life a BLAST! I am facing all my fears HEAD ON! I have such an awesome plan in the works. I can’t wait to unravel it! I’m excited. I’m scared. SCARED TO DEATH. Shitting in my pants. But I can see it! And soon … everyone will see it!

 

This is going to be the best, and sacriest, and hardest ride of my life and I want to thank you for being part of my story, so far. Even if we have never worked together, and you are just someone who enjoys my photographs. Or if you are someone who doesn’t enjoy my photographs (haters, I be talking to you!) I thank you. Because here I am right now! And I got one hell of a fire in my belly that is pushing me to do THIS. Every. Single. Day. 

Boudie Girls of 2014

2014 was an incredible year for me and for my little boudie biz ;) I had the honour of working with over 45 gorgeous ladies. Each one of them inspired me in so many ways. Working with each one of them confirmed that boudoir is where my heart is, and where I want to be. 

I love the complexity of women. We can be so many things to so many people, many times putting ourselves last on the list. It may only be for a few hours, but having a boudoir session gives you a reminder. A confirmation. That you ARE sexy. And you should never forgot that. And you should never stop feeling that way. 

I want to thank each one of my boudie girls. They came from all over. Some far away. And that just blows my mind! Teachers, police officers, lawyers, stay at home moms, photographers, entrepreneurs, fire fighters, the list goes on. All walks of life, and from different locations, each one of them had the same thing in mind. The desire and need to prove to themselves, or better yet, remind themselves of that hot sexyness that is inside them. And for me to be able to be part of that is so beyond powerful to me. I’m not sure who gets more excited sometimes! Just knowing what their reaction will be when they see their photos is what drives me. When they arrive shaking and telling me they take a shitty photo, I get to prove them wrong. And I love that! Seeing that transformation that occurs during our session is probably my most favourite part. It takes maybe 15 minutes. And it’s crazy powerful to witness. And I know that that feeling resonates on. The thought that I may have helped that little ‘spark’ turn into a fire is really the reason for me to be doing this. And really, let’s just admit, that it’s damn right fun to get all glammed up and celebrate the girly girl in us!

My goals for 2015 are BIG. My eye is on the prize … and I have all of you to thank for helping me get there xo 

So I will leave you with my boudie girls of 2014. If you are not here … you know who you are … sometimes boudie photos are for private eyes only.

I love and thank each and every one of you! xo

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Ryan & Stephanie

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I have said it many times before. I love … love. And documenting such sweet love, well, that makes my heart skip a beat or two! These two lovebirds are the sweetest. Seriously. When we had our engagement session last year, I could see from behind my lens how powerful their love for each other is. Watching along with all their family and friends, Ryan and Stephanie commit their love to each, was an honour.

It was a windy, drizzly day … did I mention it was windy? But nothing, not even mother nature, was going to change their wedding day plans. The weather co-operated. Well, at least the rain held off, though the wind stuck around … swirling, blowing, tossing. I think it just added to the buzz of all the emotion that was filling the air. Love, laughter, dancing, love and more laughter. And even more love. 

Ryan and Stephanie, your love is strong. Your role models are strong. Your family bonds are strong. I’d say you guys are off to a great start xo 

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