This burn that started as an ulcer/nervoustummy/IBS/glutenintolerate pain, has now turned into a passionate desire to succeed. Not like money rich kind of success (though I’m hopeful that’s part of my story) but the kind of success that I can finally feel I’m worthy of. Sounds like a pity party right? Not really. Well, kinda. But life, as we all know it has many things we can’t avoid. Like bills. Mortgages. Responsibilities. And working for THE MAN gets you a steady stream of assurance to keep you afloat. Or comfortable. That regular weekly, bi-weekly, or monthly security that keeps you where you are. If we are lucky we do what we love every single day. We get up and want to go to work. Doing what we love.
And then sometimes, life trips you up off your heels. In my case, 4 inch heels ,)
I have always worked for THE MAN. I loved it. I was lucky that I got up and went in and did what I loved with a pretty great bunch of people. Some are still my crazy ass friends. My first two jobs had the potential to make me a lifer! 12 and 9 years. That’s alot of time.
Then, I tripped. And found myself not loving what I was doing every day.
This was about the same time that I picked up my camera again. I mean, really picked it up. I couldn’t wait for golden hour shoots, and hotel rooms with gorgeous women ,) I would stay up late into the night editing and creating shoot ideas. I would wake up, go to work (all the while thinking of my camera and what I wanted to create), and then come home and do what I really loved. Every night. And many Saturdays and Sundays.
So here I am now. No MAN to work for. Did I make a few bad choices? Wrong decisions? Or is this part of my story? I could have a pity party and tell myself that I’m not worthy of doing what I love for a living. That I need to find more work for THE MAN. Or, I could do what I love. Every. Single. Day. And … SUCCEED! When someone asks what I do for a living (because face it, I still have bills, mortgages and responsiblities) I can say ‘I’m a photographer’. I create beautiful images. Prints. Tangible photographs, in this digital world. And, damn it, I’m pretty good at it! I think it’s my time to believe that. Really really believe that this is what I should be doing.
So, fuck the haters. I repeat, fuck the haters. The people that don’t want to see you succeed. The ones who can make you feel not so good about your abilities. Or don’t think what you are doing is a good thing. A moral thing. (referring of course, to the hotel rooms with beautiful women lol) Those folks who have a way of keeping you down low enough to believe you are only worthy of working for THE MAN.
Maybe this is my story. Maybe, just maybe … I’m suppose to work for THE WOMAN. This woman! Maybe this is the chapter of my story that leads to my happy ending. Because hells ya! my story will have a happy ending!
So I’m going to give it my all. All of my time. FULL TIME. Not just my free time, my after 5pm time or weekend time. Because really, right now, no one else but ME owns my time. Man it feels good to actually verbalize this. I have the support I need from family and friends and the BEST clients I could ever ask for, which is going to make this next chapter in my life a BLAST! I am facing all my fears HEAD ON! I have such an awesome plan in the works. I can’t wait to unravel it! I’m excited. I’m scared. SCARED TO DEATH. Shitting in my pants. But I can see it! And soon … everyone will see it!
This is going to be the best, and sacriest, and hardest ride of my life and I want to thank you for being part of my story, so far. Even if we have never worked together, and you are just someone who enjoys my photographs. Or if you are someone who doesn’t enjoy my photographs (haters, I be talking to you!) I thank you. Because here I am right now! And I got one hell of a fire in my belly that is pushing me to do THIS. Every. Single. Day.